AMA Don't Drink Beer

Discussion in 'TalkBeer AMA' started by MarkIntihar, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. MarkIntihar

    MarkIntihar Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Location:
    San Jose, CA
    I'm boooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd dontdrinkbeer

    [​IMG]

    How many words do you make up per review?

    What is your favorite 'tome?

    Where do memes come from?

    What made you decide to branch out from beer reviews and start doing Onion-style satirical articles about the beer scene?

    What is your favorite Golden Road beer?

    Did you watch the sports match on Sunday?

    Which team did you want to score the most balls?

    What's it like to have people from all over the country send you free beer just so you can destroy it?

    EDIT: Obligatory http://dontdrinkbeer.com/
     
  2. johnnyramirez

    johnnyramirez

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    Tracy, CA
    Can I haz Gooby Pls? Will trade beer for it.
     
  3. FTowne

    FTowne

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Location:
    Home
    When can I expect my first royalty check?
     
  4. mcaulifww

    mcaulifww

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Location:
    Pen Island
    Pics of kiwi??
     
  5. quirkzoo

    quirkzoo

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2013
    Location:
    The Misty Mountains
    Srs question: Why "Don't Drink Beer"?

    What is the story behind the name?
     
  6. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2014
  7. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    I need to make sure it doesn't taste like complete shit first and carbs up. Labels are done, wax is in hand

    I fully intend to put the Gooby on the chainwax.

    also: feelsbadman sending condo homebrew for real beers, but as long as it tastes better than Vuja De, dont feel quite as bad.
     
  8. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    DDB is super liquid right now, assembling all the funds and clearing tax season will be our top priority. Will you accept payment in the form of a camo jetski?
     
  9. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    Kiwi is my dog.

    Here is a picture of her, with upland kiwi, garnished with a kiwi:

    [​IMG]

    she is a 1 year old Papillon. I sent her sweater away as an extra because she is a jerk.
     
  10. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    When I was backlogging the regular ass reviews that no one reads anymore, I was going through potential names for sites and almost every site was a shitty pun, a hop-formulation or brew-compounded name. It made me not want to even do a site the same way Tool fans make you hate Tool.

    I wanted a name that was a contradiction of intent, because I had just been put on ban from BA for using "narratives" which apparently was against the TOS. So I decided to start my own site where I could wank it with narratives to encompass the joie de vivre of the beer outside the traditional ASTDM to mouth. The "Dontdrinkbeer" was a nod to the culture of the past that took beer really fucking serious, to that BJCP sybian riding world of Papazian starter kits, I wanted to tell them to dontdrinkbeer, because I felt there were aspects outside that realm worth exploring. Like fun.

    I went looking for the domain and was shocked that it was not taken by MADD or some other Vice Cop organization, registered that bitch and posted in the cut like a sealy posturpedic.
     
  11. jakeox

    jakeox

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Location:
    Chicago
    When is your Kickstarter to fund your US tour so people can pay to have you come into their house, drink their beer, and tell them why it sucks and how their backsplash is micropenis status?

    (I accept commissions BTW.)
     
  12. MordorMongo

    MordorMongo

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2013
    What is your favorite, absolute favorite, 90's video game?

    Hentai, yes or no or often?

    If I send you proper moonshine will you see if your Porsche will run on it (mythbusters said it will and those fuckers know science)?


    Ever considered randalling a gerbil with some brew for a buttchugging parody?


    More later. Thanks!
     
  13. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    Backsplashadvocate is on hold for the moment until I get the corporate backing I need, but that remains one of the main hot button issues for DDB, the proliferation of backsplash awareness.

    I would love to mooch the fuck off my fans until nothing remains, sleep on IKEA futons, holler at Missouri lot lizards, and accept confused handshakes from wives and brewers who would give a fuck less as to who I am. That is the dream. Someday, gotta spec my character out for such a journey and those god tier drops take so much grinding.
     
  14. johnnyramirez

    johnnyramirez

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    Tracy, CA
    Given your well documented references to JRPG's in pictures/posts/etc, which one is your favorite?

    Do you still have time to play them?

    Any games you're looking forward to or play now that the JRPG genre isn't as good as it once was
     
    dontdrinkbeer likes this.
  15. tehzachatak

    tehzachatak

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Location:
    Gone
    You need to answer the question we all want to know, did you drink the baconator, and how was it?
     
  16. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    I would have to place a solid tie between Earthbound and Final Fantasy III (or 6 if you are a fact checking super famicon asshole)
    The narrative, mechanics and gameplay were revolutionary for the time and still hold up over time, unlike many games people lose their shit over. Go play Secret of Mana and tell me it still compels you as when you were in your pre-pubes days.

    hentai, no. never. Between that and rule 34 MLP shit, i get plenty on accident in forums. no need to seek it out.

    DDB hasn't crossed over into that ultra hilarious "animal abuse/genocide joke" realm but we are constantly in the lab working on new levity strains to propagate.
     
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  17. SeaWatchman

    SeaWatchman

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Location:
    Oceania
    Fuck you it wasn't. It was totally my idea for an Onion-style beer site.
     
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  18. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    I answered this above, but in terms of favorite RPG of all time, it might lie in the 16 bit realm but I have to give a nod to Final Fantasy 9 and the PS1 Star Ocean claimed more time than any other game i can recall. Ogre Battle was fun as well but tactical RPGs are a whole different beast.

    I still play them, I just dropped 50 hours into Ni No Kuni and I am working on Tales of Xillia in between getting destroyed in BF4. so bit by bit, still wasting my time on useless endeavors of all kinds.
     
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  19. jakeox

    jakeox

    Joined:
    May 11, 2013
    Location:
    Chicago
    What is the single best and worst thing you've ever put in your mouth?

    Same question for beers.
     
  20. dontdrinkbeer

    dontdrinkbeer

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    California
    Just by sheer fatigue most RPGs are tough to step into like the Persona series seems cool but I don't have time to fuck around with fetchquests or derivative content, i make enough of that on my own.

    Square seems to have shit itself and all over me consistently, so most of my love comes for Gearbox and Bioshock etc.

    Most games now have RPG style progression systems to appease my tastes, such crossover, wow.
     
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