ITT: First Time Father Advice

Discussion in 'Totally Off-Topic' started by ficklenicholas, Jun 16, 2015.

  1. ficklenicholas

    ficklenicholas

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2013
    Location:
    Highlands Ranch, CO.
    Help me out. My wife is 33 weeks pregnant with our first child and to be completely honest, i am scared shitless. I guess i am just looking for advice and words of wisdom from those who have already been through it. I fully expect my life to change completely in the next two months, just looking for guidance.

    How do you afford childcare?
    How does your relationship change?
    and so on...

    Tagging a few who are parents: FTowne minnesotadaddy
     
  2. Jnorton00

    Jnorton00

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2013
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    How do you afford childcare? Don't have to pay for it.
    How does your relationship change? Same shit different day.

    Just roll with it and get the kid on a set schedule ASAP and you'll be fine!
     
  3. Josh

    Josh

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2013
    Location:
    In a van by a river
    Childcare - mother in law lives in our rental house, watches our 2 year old, and doesn't pay rent.

    Relationship change - the words, "hurry up and finish", take on a whole new meaning.

    As said above, put the baby on a schedule and don't deviate from it until it's set in stone. My daughter naps at 12, and to sleep by 730 She's more timely than a Rolex.

    Enjoy it. Have fun. Parenthood is an awesome and exciting journey.
    (Until they hit the teen years. There's no advice that can help with that]
     
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  4. William

    William

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2013
    Location:
    Philly
    Our baby is three months old now. Honestly, the only thing I can say is, take advice with a grain of salt. Every kid is different, as is every relationship. You will be fine. Trust your instincts. If you want to talk send me a message, I'll give you my number.
     
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  5. RayP

    RayP

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Location:
    Atlanta
  6. Five28 hz

    Five28 hz

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Location:
    Houston
    There's nothing to be scared of, it's mostly instinct that takes over the first few weeks. Other than lack of sleep, newborn to 9 months is easy. Once they're walking after that, you can start taking them to the brewery.
    [​IMG]
     
  7. Stereosforgeeks

    Stereosforgeeks

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2013
    Got a 4 month old son.
    The only advice youll ever need is do what is right for you and your family!!! There are so many opinions about everything but you need to do what works for you, whether thats bottle feeding vs breast, daycare vs mom staying home, etc.. etc... if something isnt working give it awhile and if it still isnt working try something new. Every baby is different and they like different things.

    The one thing I wish someone told me is that your wife's hormones will continue to be out of whack for a long time after the baby is born. Remember to give her a ton of support and help her out. This is a huge change for both of you but she has hormones going wild on top of everything. Help each other out and be supportive.

    As other people have said schedule schedule schedule. We never really had a napper but he sleeps through the night. bedtime between 8-9 and up at 6-7. SLEEP TRAIN FROM DAY ONE (my 2 cents)!

    How do you afford childcare? parents live down the street. they moved here to help my bro with his 3 kids and so we had that in the bag from day one.

    People will tell you to enjoy this time because it flies by. It really does fly by and it seems impossible to really savor every moment because there's just so much stuff to do.

    We can't believe our guy is 4 months old it feels like he was born yesterday and forever ago at the same time.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
  8. flexabull

    flexabull

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Location:
    Beyond the sun
    This, we took our kid to breweries and wineries when she was just a few months old (she's 21 months old now), you'll figure it out pretty quickly.

    Maybe you'll get lucky and you'll kid will sleep well, ours slept 10+ hours a night pretty much from the get go.

    Congrats, and enjoy!
     
  9. sacrelicio

    sacrelicio

    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Location:
    MPLS
    I saw some homie on the other site asking what brewery to take his 2 week old baby to and although I don't have kids I was like wat
     
  10. flexabull

    flexabull

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Location:
    Beyond the sun
    :confused:
     
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  11. SeattleBeerPenguin

    SeattleBeerPenguin

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2015
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Eh. My (now 3 1/2) daughter has been going to breweries since she was super little. Maybe beer culture is different where you live than here in Seattle, but 99% of breweries out here welcome kids.

    I also don't take her places where it's inappropriate or she isn't welcome.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2015
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  12. harrymel

    harrymel

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Location:
    Methlehem, WA
  13. sacrelicio

    sacrelicio

    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Location:
    MPLS
    Eh fuck it. Hell, if I could get pregnant I'd hit the taprooms pretty hard
     
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  14. PepeSylvia

    PepeSylvia

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2015
    Location:
    Wilkes-Barre PA
    You are about to embark on one awesome journey... At times you will wonder why you signed up for this shit, and at other times you will not understand how you were happy before hand.

    I have experienced both the highest of highs and unfortunately the lowest of lows when it come to parenthood. My carefully thought out advice to a new father would be this:

    Just be a good Dad, Be there for your Kid and your wife. More money and less time with family is not always supporting your family. You will find a way to make ends meet. Get ready to experience a love that you never thought possible. Cherish every second. They will amaze you every step of the way.
     
  15. steimie

    steimie

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2013
    Location:
    Michigan
    Childcare: You can't afford it. No one can. You do it anyway. Like most things with a kid, you find a way to pay for it.

    Relationship with wife: Find a babysitter so you two can get out without Jr. at least 1x per month. Even if it's just go grab a burger and a beer, you need that time away for the two of you.

    Misc: Do what works best for your family, that means ignoring most of the advice you're going to get (including from all of us) if it doesn't work for you guys. Kids are like water--they find their own level. Just be patient, go with the flow, and enjoy the ride. It's a good one.
     
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  16. willseph

    willseph

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2013
    Location:
    West Chicagoland
    Childcare - No advice there. It's 'spensive, along with formula, diapers, wipes, and everything else.

    Changes - Not a lot has changed with my relationship with my wife. Agree with the others, after she's comfortable leaving the baby with a sitter, go out once a while. Figure out the cadence that works for you, chances are you're going to want to go out more often than your wife. But try to find time when the baby is playing or sleeping to just talk. Talk about anything, just normal BS.

    As far as other advice, be prepared to do more of everything. I didn't realize how much time and effort is spent taking care of the baby (which is what my wife primarily does) so it was a surprise to me when I realized I have to do more around the house, on top of occasional baby duty. Try not to get frustrated with mom or the baby, find a constructive outlet for that energy. I clean when I'm ticked off.

    The first three months are guaranteed to be tough. That's not saying the next umpteen years won't be, but the first three months are very much a test. But around 12 weeks, he/she will hopefully start smiling, interacting, and responding to your input.

    Finally, listen to the baby. We thought our little guy had colic. He would be inconsolable for several hours every night and we'd have no idea what to do. Turns out, he was hungry, even though we fed him according to the doctor's cadence and recommended number of ounces. Go through the process of elimination to try to figure out what's wrong, and you should eventually come to the solution.

    Best of luck and hoping for a smooth delivery and a healthy mom and baby! Cheers!
     
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  17. Doc

    Doc

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Location:
    FL
    Childcare - If you are in a situation where you will have to have your child in a daycare program, if you don't already have them on a list somewhere I would do it now, the high quality places that are affordable often have wait lists, we learned this the hard way, and paid out the ass for private care for a number of years.

    Changes- That is totally dependent on your relationship. Can't help you there.

    For me the infancy period was grueling, because I am a selfish person. It can be hard putting someone else first after not doing so for such a long time. Now that my first daughter is 3, I have a lot more fun, it gets better everyday.
     
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  18. PepeSylvia

    PepeSylvia

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2015
    Location:
    Wilkes-Barre PA
    More tips...

    Babies have growth spurts and during them they need lots of food. It will feel like you just fed them and they already want more. I think a big one usually happens around 6-12 weeks.

    Breastfeeding saves a ton of money... (and if the best thing for a baby) And your wife will burn 300-500 calories a day just feeding the baby.
     
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  19. SeaWatchman

    SeaWatchman

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Location:
    Oceania
    *cough*Candice*cough*
     
  20. FTowne

    FTowne

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Location:
    Home
    I'll echo what most have already said. There's not really a cut a dry method for raising a kid. When I met my wife, her son was already 7 years old so I got a "trial run" in parenting before we got married and had our daughter.

    The first year with a newborn can be a little rough until your find a rhythm. As others have said, get in to a schedule for eating, sleeping, bathing, playtime, etc. as soon as possible.

    In my experience, ages 3-14 can be fun as shit. You get to do a lot of the things you loved about your own childhood all over again.

    My step son is almost 17 and well...that's a whole different story. I'm trying to "think" like I did when I was his age to help myself process some of the dumbshit moves he makes. Overall he's a great kid that stays out of any major trouble, he's just dumbass.
     
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