Discussion in 'Totally Off-Topic' started by RedCoffee, May 12, 2016.
like i actually remember what i post to know what was deleted
WTF are you even talking about? I wouldn't notice if 3/4 of this entire site was deleted. Just don't fuck with my politics.
Anyone got any good tips to be in better spirits over the holidays?
College football. Unfortunately you'll have to wait 10 months for another UCLA game.
But seriously, I feel your pain. Not a fan of December. Holiday travel, running around buying gifts, year end work shit. Not necessarily depressing for me, but anxiety producing. I know the holidays brings lots of intense family stuff to the fore for a lot of folks.
Charity work/volunteering. Always works for me.
I have started donating to some local charities. It makes me feel better to know I am helping others especially this time of year. Even smaller stuff helps, extra tips for service, when they ask for a dollar to help a cause at the grocery store, throw them a $20, I have also been buying the cars order behind me when visiting the local dunkin drive through every once and awhile. If $$$ is tight agree with volunteering also, I struggle to find the time.
A couple of weeks ago, I got fired from a 4 day a week job, I was hoping would turn into a full time position shortly. And I even had my entire month blacked out from any time off per the company , since they sell a lot of product this month. So, missing out on some good short term commissions. But, obviously even more frustrated with both near term and likely long term ramifications of this unemployment laid on me shortly before Christmas.
I am still kind of in shock and still angry about this. But, trying my best to maintain a somewhat clear head. Trying to keep upbeat about life in general.
Keep your head up man. No time is a good time to lose your job, but it's especially hard this time of year. Hopefully you find something else soon.
I get the biggest kick paying for someone’s stuff behind me when I occasionally find myself in a drive thru. I agree, finding time is tough though.
I enjoy it because hopefully it makes others do it randomly and perhaps the joy finds others, maybe even back to me at some point when I’m in the dumps one day.
Hey folks, just checking in hope everyone is doing well with your respective struggles. I know the holidays can really get some people down.
In other news, as some of you know, my uncle has early onset Alzheimers. We went to their house last night for dinner and man has he gotten bad. He is a shell of himself. In an effort to give my cousins and Aunt a break, I took over as his caretaker for the evening. Man, what a challenge. He does not know who anyone is, where he is, what he wants to do, nothing. I had to help him go to the bathroom, lift the seat and make sure he was close enough to the toilet. Make sure he didn't wander outside, since he smokes cigars, he likes to disappear and there is fear he will wander off. He has to be reminded to wipe his mouth, that he had food in front of him that he was just eating. Ultimately, towards the end of the evening he got visibly frustrated so per my aunts request, after 30 mins I got him to finally go to the couch and lay down where I covered him up with a blanket and he fell asleep.
I watched my mother, grandmother, aunt, wife and cousins all cry at some point last night. Just a tough, tough evening. I would imagine it won't be long and he will have to go to some sort of facility or have a FT caregiver. Just tough to witness and be around but given I admire the man, all I can do is try to help him maintain what is left of his dignity.
Anyways. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
Alzheimer’s is tough, my grandfather went thru everything you described. He would often get out and wander and my uncles would have to search for him. He ultimately needed to be placed in a facility since it was too much for my grandmother to handle.
It really is a terrible disease and I hope at some point medicine can catch up and find a cure or preventive measures.
Good looking out. It seems like more of my loved ones than usual (and maybe it's my age) are experiencing loss this holiday season. Take care of yourselves everyone.
Same here man, keep up the good work.
Weird seeing the Vietnam Vet Marine badass of the family in such a helpless state. Mine fell quite a few times last week, hoping we can host him for Xmas in a wheelchair (awaiting Doc approval/discharge). Its amazing how hanging out and having a beer with him watching football can bring him some moments of lucidity. He is already in a home, but we like to break him out for football, beers and pool season. Its a decent balance for everyone involved. Would really advise to look in that direction given what you describe as very difficult for everyone.
Been going through a lot of his music, hoping he will like/recognize a lot of his tunes I put on the pool playlist next year.
Good on you man. Merry Christmas dude
Well, my uncle whom I did the Alzheimers fundraiser for, has to be put into care. He's become mean, belligerent, basically incoherent. This is been fucking devastating to watch. I mean, its all happened so fast, almost inconceivably fast. He's 66 years old and has the cognitive ability of a toddler. As I have stated before, this is a man I grew up admiring. A man who taught me how to swim, fix shit, drive a Bobcat and countless other things. From traditional Christmas Eve dinner at their house to the annual family reunion that they hosted. It truly is the end of a huge chapter of my life.
Watching my aunt and cousins is equally as gut wrenching. Just the looks of sheer frustration, embarrassment, sadness, helplessness, it's all terrible. I speak to one of my cousins quite regularly, she has been a trooper but she does break down every now and again. My other cousin is just in denial. It's killing him to watch his father like this and it manifests as anger and frustration, I get it. My Aunt? Talk about a strong woman, but she is at wits end as well.
I try to help the best I can when we are all together by giving them a reprieve from being his caretaker and man is it hard. Constant redirection, constant reminders of what the task at hand is, "No Uncle Dick, you can't smoke a cigar in the restaurant", "It's still lit, don't put it in your pocket" etc.
I sincerely hope none of you have to deal with this. Just venting. Thanks for reading.
Went through this with my Nana around 20 years ago. Heartbreaking stuff, dude. Stay strong.
Currently working with Alzheimer’s patients and it can be devastating to watch the decline, whether slow or fast. While hard for the patient, the disease also takes a major toll on family and caregivers.
I always like the oxygen mask analogy. If you want to be there’s for others you gotta be there’s for yourself first, much like putting on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, man.
Been a whirlwind of emotions lately. I feel like I’m a shell of my former self. I’ve been going out of my way to accommodate others and get shit on while doing so.
I need to get to a point where I can start making myself happy again.
/end vague post
I feel you on that. You don't have to do things for yourself or be selfish to the detriment of your other obligations, but you do need to think about number one, and not feel guilty about doing some shit for yourself sometimes. Start small for a short term boost, maybe take yourself out to a nice meal, or treat yourself to a new pair of shoes. And plan something a little bigger to look forward to, like a weekend trip to see a band you like in a town far enough away to necessitate an overnight stay, whatever. Just something that is entirely about making yourself happy for a little bit. You deserve it.
I understand how you are feeling.
I haven’t really pounded it all out here but to put it briefly, I, too, have been working too many hours, spending my entire fuck budget and just leaving myself spent.